The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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