i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
