dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No subtext here. People are naked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
