i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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