Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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