sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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