Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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