Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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