youre lurking in front of me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
