Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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