if only i could text you this smell
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
