my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
