You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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