ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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