Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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