Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Enjoy the penises
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize