i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
