Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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