I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
