I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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