It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
