You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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