I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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