If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
