my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
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