There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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