When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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