We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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