she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize