did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
