She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
