There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
