its not stalking. its research.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
