Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
ttyl tear gas
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
