can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
