Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
