i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
