She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
