how can u be prego again
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
