Whod you bang
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
