my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize