So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
