I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
