I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
