If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
