I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize