I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Come share oat with me in your robe
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You are a genius and a whore.
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