I'm gonna have a badass scar
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
