You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize