Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
