you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
