look no pants
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
