She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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