First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
