how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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