I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
