i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize