Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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