y did u give ur computer a hand job?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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