hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we made out on top of his cat.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
