lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
