We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
