I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
